I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
pray to the hookup gods
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
