Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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