just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
