Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
