Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
