he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woke up backwards on a recliner
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
