Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
