I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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