he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
