So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
