You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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