Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How external is "for external use only"?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
