I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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