How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
