theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
