why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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