bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
