I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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