I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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