I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
