You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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