so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
