Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Come share oat with me in your robe
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
