the new term for farting is butt boxing.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
