My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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