my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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