I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize