this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
