i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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