i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize