i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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