I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize