happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
