There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
