Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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