I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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