farters have to be the big spoon...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
