I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
