Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
