Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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