He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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