Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
