They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
