my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
