I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
