It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
