She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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