i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
