I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
