Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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