I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
