How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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