You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
