i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
