how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
