And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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