You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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