nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
